


Wake Up

by KatsInSpace



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Slow Burn, based on minecraft person only, doc's kinda GOAT crazy rn but ren still loves him, kind of break up but not really since doc forgets they were ever in a rleationship, ren needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24569386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsInSpace/pseuds/KatsInSpace
Summary: After each world (season), their memories are wiped. This time, Ren is the only one who had retained some memories, while everyone else doesn't remember what happened, including Doc, his boyfriend, in the last world.
Relationships: RenDog/Docm77, Rendoc, Rendog/Doc, Renthedog/Doc, Renthedog/Docm77
Comments: 20
Kudos: 109





	Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> Very brief mention of scar/cub, mumbo/grian  
> starts off in the season 6 finale and then season 7, kind of canon compliant but not really, i change things a bit, though there are spoilers for season 7

-.-

Scar was the first one that hadn’t opened their eyes. 

Cub had been so worried about him, wondering if he was ill or if he was poisoned but nothing seemed out of the ordinary for him, no one could find a reason why he wouldn't wake up. They tried endlessly, doing all that they could, but nothing happened.

Then Cub hadn't woken up either. 

Grian had taken in Jellie, who had been waiting at the foot of their bed, meowing and waiting for one of them to wake. 

People started getting even more worried, constantly checking up on each other, agreeing to meet at the shopping district every morning to make sure everyone was okay. 

Then the next person hadn’t woken up.

Grian had been devastated when Mumbo was left still lying fast asleep in their bed. They had lost another that day. 

And life went on, the remaining hermits still trying all they could to wake the others up and prevent themselves from falling to the same curse their friends had. None of it ever worked.

Ren had woken one morning in a warm embrace like every other morning. He didn't think anything of it at first, cuddling further into Doc's chest, tightening his hug around him. He lays in bed a bit more, enjoying the moment between them. 

He always loved mornings. Those were times when they could just forget about lost friends for at least one moment and just enjoy their time together.

Ren forces himself up onto his arms, leaning over Doc. "Morning Doc," he mumbles, pressing a kiss against his lips, a hand on his face, fingers brushing against the metal of his cheek.

When Doc didn't move, Ren was immediately worried, heart clenching, fear growing inside him. He had a sneaking feeling about what was wrong. "Doc?" he says, voice shaking as he feared the worst. 

Doc was both a light sleeper and a morning person, he would've been awake by now. 

Ren watched Doc's still face, chest slowly rising up and down from his breaths. He didn’t even twitch. "Doc," he said panicked, eyes starting to water as he gently shook him. The other hated being shook awake so he was gentle at first. "Doc," he said, starting to get more desperate, shaking him a little harder.

No reaction.

"Doc!" Tears started to form in his eyes, still trying to shake him awake. "No! Please no, Doc!" he sobbed out. He stops shaking him, realizing it wasn't working and he still wasn't awake. "Doc," he cried out, burying his head in his chest, wrapping his arms tight around him as he sobbed out, "Please don't leave me, please wake up."

Doc still doesn't move.

Ren doesn't know how long he's there crying, desperately clutching and hoping Doc would open his eyes. But when he finds himself back at the shopping district to see the others, they hug him out of relief. 

"Ren! We thought we lost you too!" Stress said with tears in her eyes.

Almost half of the hermits were deep under. It was always a tearful realization when another is lost. 

Despite their embrace and reassuring words, he felt dull. "Doc didn't wake up this morning," he muttered, tears still falling from his eyes. 

"I'm so sorry," False says, staring at him with an empathetic look on her face. 

"You still have us," Xisuma tells him softly. 

It wasn't the same.

Ren didn't want to sleep, knowing Doc wouldn't be opening his eyes with him. But he didn't want Doc to be alone at night either, in case he did wake up one day and wondered where Ren had disappeared to.

Doc never did though. 

People, one by one, eventually stop showing up at the meeting place, and it slowly becomes just him and Xisuma. They look at each other, grief in his eyes as Ren stares at Xisuma’s emotionless helmet. 

“It’s going to be okay, right X?” he gets no reply.

Then, it's just him waiting at the fountain in front of Grian's cart, waiting for no one to show up. Ren knew he was the last one awake but he didn't want to believe it, still waiting at the fountain for Xisuma, for _someone_ to show up and reassure him that he wasn't alone. 

He ends up waiting until dusk only for no one to show up.

Ren shows up the next day.

And the next.

And the one after that.

No one ever shows up.

Ren stopped counting the days after that, he didn't want to know how long he was awake and waiting alone for. He wanders from base to base, seeing again if there was any chance to wake someone up. He'd always fail but would try again with someone else. And then he'd return at the end of the day to a silent home, where Doc lay quiet and asleep. This was his daily routine.

Some nights, he’d dream that all the hermits were awake, talking and screwing with each other like before. Then he’d wake up and be hit with the reality of everything. He was on his own.

The world feels barren without anyone else, the silent echoes of once was filling the world. He was fine working on things by himself but doing it now when he knew everyone else wouldn’t wake up was not the same. 

Ren gets into bed next to a sleeping Doc, back facing him, having lost the want to hold him long ago, but unable to leave him alone. He closes his eyes, trying to reassure himself that everything would be fine and that they would all eventually wake up, like he told himself every other night.

Ren doesn't wake up.

-.-

Ren doesn't remember opening his eyes. One minute he's climbing into bed, the next, he's standing on a small sandy island, a chest, a few torches, and a sign in front of him. 

He thinks he's dreaming at first. 

"What the hell?" he looks around, seeing a mushroom island, another island, and a mesa biome in the distance. He didn’t recognize any of it. "This isn't home, where am I?" A thought flashes inside of him, ‘ _new world._ ’

He approaches the sign. 

"Welcome back to Spawn, take a boat, Joe Hills." Ren feels his eyes well up with tears. He felt like he was dreaming. Did that mean everyone else was awake again? Where were they? 

Ren pinched himself and yelped out of pain. 

The tears fell and he cried out of joy. He’d dreamt so many times that the other hermits would wake up, no longer leaving him alone, but it was actually real this time? He'd been alone for far too long, he needed to see someone. For someone to hold him and reassure him that it was all real. 

He needed to see Doc. 

He takes a boat and some food from the box and sets sail to find one of his friends. He has nothing on him, dead-set on trying to find someone. He sails the waters, scanning the coasts for any sign of someone, a house, a crafting table, anything. 

Ren finds a crafting table on the coast. 

“Someone could be there,” he says under his breath, hope filling him. He gets out of the boat, taking it with him. He scrambles to get to the table, trying to see if he could see any signs of someone. “Hello?” he calls out, trying to listen for anyone. 

Ren looks around, seeing partially chopped down trees and follows them. He’s desperate, heading toward the trees, hoping, just _hoping_ he’d find someone. He stops under the partially chopped down trees. His heart falls a little. “No,” he mutters, as he glances around.

There wasn’t anything else there. No chopped down trees, no items on the ground, and no house either. 

Ren wanders from the trees, telling himself that he’d find _something,_ only half believing it. 

He stops searching when all he could find were wild animals and untouched land. His heart heavy, he goes back to find the coast and continues to search for life. 

He’s a little defeated, but goes back to searching for someone. 

Ren finds a desert next. He spots a small pyramid. He almost sails past it, thinking it was just natural generation. Then he spots a few mooshrooms, and boats straight for it. Someone had _built_ that. Someone could be there.

He docks his boat at the side, scrambling onto shore and heads over to the pyramid. He takes a quick glance around, face falling when he doesn’t see anyone around. “Come on, please,” he says quietly. He peeks inside of the pyramid. 

No one. 

“No!” he teared up. Dread started to fill him.

_Ren smiles, tears in his eyes as he holds his friends in a hug. “You’re up! I thought that you’d never wake up, I thought I’d always be alone.”_

_Ren’s eyes open. He gets up, looking forward to seeing everyone again._

_Then Doc doesn’t wake up._

This was real, right? Everyone was back and awake, right?

Ren didn’t want to give up, but he was slowly starting to lose hope again. Everything was starting to give him the same dreadful feeling that he felt many times before. 

He doesn’t find anyone for a while, his hunger growing over his venture. Unwillingly, he stops and gathers some supplies and food to settle down for a bit. He finds a small island with a few animals to settle on, making a farm to get some food for himself. 

It’s late at night, he’s sitting in his small shack, on a single bed. His sunglasses are set to the side, and he’s just sitting there, counting his fingers. His chest feels heavy.

He wasn’t feeling very hopeful anymore. He had been through this many, many times before, wandering an empty world on his own. But never had it been a _new_ world, always the one he had known for years.

Ren hadn’t seen anyone the entire day. He’d seen crafting tables, small houses, and cobblestone and dirt out of place, _hints_ of life, but no one was near by. He didn’t find any clue where Doc could have been either. He still couldn’t believe that this was all real, that there was a chance all the hermits were awake again. He was starting to doubt if it really was true. 

He reaches out to touch the wooden walls and the woolen blankets of his bed, trying to ground himself in reality, reassuring himself that it was all real. He hears the mooing and the belts from his animals outside, the waves crashing against the shore. He breathes in the salty air of the ocean. 

He lies in bed and under the blankets, trying to get comfortable. He closes his eyes and tries to get to sleep.

His thoughts are deafening, preventing him from sleeping. 

It was too cold, the bed was too small, and it was too empty. He wasn’t used to sleeping without Doc, they’d been doing it for so long that it felt wrong. 

Eventually, he manages to get some rest.

-.-

Ren jerks awake, "No, don't leave me!" He's breathing heavily, a panicked feeling inside of him.

He clutches his chest, choking out sobs as his other hand goes to cover his face. His face was wet from tears.

It takes him a moment to calm down and gather his nerves just enough to take in his surroundings. He was sitting in a single bed in a small shack, Doc not laying next to him. 

It isn't long after that that he realizes, "It was just a dream," he breathes out, relief now filling him. "This is real, it's all real." Ren takes another moment to calm himself down more. “I’m fine, everything’s fine,” he attempts to convince himself.

He gets up from his bed, taking his sunglasses off of the crafting table and places it on his face, glad he had something to shield his red eyes. He sets out to keep looking for someone, and hopefully find Doc. 

Ren finds a jungle first. There were some signs that people had been there before and decided to wander in. It didn’t seem like a place Doc would be at but there was a sign people had been there before, and he just needed to see _someone._ Someone that would reassure him that it was real, that he wasn’t dreaming everything again.

He’s wandering the jungle for a bit and at first, he thinks no one has settled there but eventually, he finds a giant snail. Ren recognizes that as someone’s place, and bee-lines over there, desperately hoping to find the owner of the house. When he gets closer, he finds a man in a purple robe and hat, and there’s a huge smile on his face, eyes watering. 

It was a person! A _real_ person! Alive and awake! 

There were tears in his eyes. It had been way too long since he had seen someone. He doesn’t recognize who it is at first but he doesn’t care, he just needed some human contact. When Ren grows closer and they turn their head, he sees their face and it takes a moment to realize that it was Scar.

“Scar!” he yells, waving wildly and rushing over to him.

Scar looks up when he shouts his name. He smiled and waved.

“Scar!” There were tears in his eyes, he sniffs, a smile on his face. He was finally meeting someone in the flesh. After so long, being by himself, having no one to talk to or to hang out with, he was finally seeing someone. “God, I missed you,” he lunges over to him, pulling him into a hug, crying tears of joy. “I missed all of you!” he choked back his tears, face scrunching up as he just cried. 

“I missed you too, Ren!” Scar returns the hug, a smile on his face. “It was a shame you weren’t able to make it with everyone else, but you’re here now!”

“It’s been way too long since I’ve seen someone,” he cried out, not letting go of him. “Tell me I’m not dreaming, please,” his voice shook as he said it.

“Wow, it’s been two weeks,” he said with a chuckle. “And you’re as awake as I am!”

Ren shook his head, “You don’t know how long it’s been for me.” Scar had been the first to not wake up, he didn’t understand how much they had all gone through. “Just tell me it’s all real, please.”

Scar patted him on his back, shifting a little from how long Ren had been hugging him. “Wow, sounds like a lot happened to you these past few weeks. I’m real Ren, you’re real, we’re all real!”

Ren nodded. “A lot _has_ happened.” He pulls away from the hug, knowing Scar was starting to get a bit uncomfortable from how long he was holding onto him. “You’re the first person I’ve seen so far, where _is_ everyone?”

“Oh, we’re all pretty scattered, so I don’t know where _everyone_ is. But all I know is that Grian settled just across the lake,” he pointed in that direction before waving over a different direction, somewhat in the same area. “Mumbo is over there,” he points in a completely different direction. “And Iskall is over there somewhere.”

“And Doc?” he asked hopefully. 

He was the number one person he wanted to see the most. Doc would hold him and reassure him that everything was okay again. He missed seeing him and talking with him so much.

“Somewhere in a different biome,” Scar said with a shrug. “Don’t know where exactly.”

Ren visibly deflated. He was so close to seeing Doc up and awake again, but still so far.

“But uh, Grian might know!” Scar quickly added, a slightly panicked look on his face. “So not all is lost!”

“Thanks,” he felt slightly better. He at least had a better chance to find him now. “I need to find Doc, so I’ll see you later.” He needed to see him. 

“See you, Ren!” he greeted back.

“Before I go, where’s Cub? I need to see him too.” The more people he saw, the more he could believe that it was all real.

“Cub? He’s settled in the desert somewhere South of the mooshroom island.”

His thoughts go to the small pyramid he had seen the day before. Ren stares at him, a little confused. “By himself?” 

“Yeah.”

He paused, still confused on why they weren’t living together like before. “By himself?” he repeated.

“Yeah?” Scar looked at him oddly. “Who else would he be with?”

“Did you two get into a fight or something?” Ren asked hesitantly. He didn’t want to sound too harsh in case they _had_ broken up and he hadn’t been aware of it.

“No?” Scar sounded confused too. “Cub and I are fine.”

“Oh, decided to settle in different places then.” Ren nodded. It was weird, they were always together before, and after how devastated Cub had been, he didn’t expect for them to live separately. 

“I mean, yeah, I guess, we don’t have to live together, you know?” 

“I guess,” he says. “I just expected for you two to still be living together after what happened before.” He turns. “Anyways, see yo-”

“Wait, wait,” Scar stopped him, grabbing his arm. “After _what_ happened?”

Ren stared at him. “They didn’t tell you?” Ren didn’t understand. He would have thought that it would have been brought up at least once. 

“Tell me what?”

“You were the first one to not wake up,” Ren tells him. “We didn’t know what to do at first, we thought you were ill, had drank a weird potion, or were under some sort of spell, then Cub didn’t wake up either. And one by one, everyone just stopped waking up.”

Scar looked horrified. “What? That sounds horrible! I’m so glad I didn’t have to experience any of that, it sounds like torture.”

“It was,” it was left unsaid, how much he had gone through.

Scar was a little caught off guard. He looked at him with wide eyes, slightly concerned. 

“I was the last one awake.”

“Oh Ren,” he says, looking at him with empathic eyes. “I’m so sorry, you _have_ been through so much, haven’t you?” He pulled him into another hug. “You’re okay now, we’re all awake and fine. We’re okay.”

“Thank you,” he said, tearing up again. 

“Feeling better?”

“I just need to see Doc,” Ren hugged him back, sniffling. “I’ll be better after that.” 

“Yeah, of course,” he says in a reassuring tone. “Grian’s just across the lake, he should be there to tell you where Doc lives.” 

“Thank you.”

Scar lets Ren hug him a little bit longer. “Though, is something going on between you and Doc that we don’t know about?” 

“There’s something,” he pulls away from the hug, wiping his tears away. The comfort of a friend was something that he had desperately needed. “But it’s something that everyone already knows.”

“Oh? Humor me.”

“You know,” Ren says. “We’re dating. Like how you and Cub are dating, and then how Grian and Mumbo are dating.”

Scar’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“Dating, going out, you know.”

“No, I _don’t_ know, when did this happen?” Scar looked so confused. “Grian and Mumbo? You and Doc? _Me and Cub?_ Did I miss something here?”

Ren stared at him. Scar’s reaction was genuine, he didn’t remember their relationships at all. “You don’t-” he hesitated. “-remember?” He didn’t understand, why didn’t Scar remember?

“No?” Scar stared at him, visibly confused. “I think I would have remembered if Cub and I were in a relationship. Or you know, you, Grian, Mumbo, or Doc. _Especially_ Doc, you know how he is.”

Ren stared at him. He didn’t understand, how did Scar not remember? Was it just him? Or was it everyone else too? 

Did Doc remember him?

“Do you remember our world? The Convex? The stock exchange? Demise?”

Scar stared at him, still wearing that confused expression. “No? What are those things? _Other world?_ Ren, you’ve been on your own for far too long.” 

Ren was shook. He didn’t believe it. Scar didn’t remember _anything._ “I-I need to go.” He quickly turns, rushing off to go see Grian. Maybe it was just Scar? After all, he had been the first to go. 

He ignored Scar’s calls for him. 

It doesn’t take long for him to find Grian’s place. A home built into the side of a mountain, windows and a small garden out front. He steps inside, relief filling him when he sees Grian placing a bunch of chests. 

“Grian!” he called desperately.

Grian looks up. “Ren! You scared me, where’d you-”

“Do you know Mumbo?” Ren asks in a panic, not letting him finish. He placed his hands on his shoulders, looking directly into his eyes.

“What-?” Grian was startled at the out of the blue question. 

“Please. Do you know Mumbo?” 

“Do I know him? Of course, he’s my friend!”

Ren felt dread in him. “Just friends?” It was barely a whisper.

“Yes?” Grian asked, raising an eyebrow. He looked at him curiously. “Why? Do you-” he hesitated. “-like Mumbo?”

Ren didn’t say anything and let go of his shoulders, stumbling backwards, barely catching himself on the wall. He was too focused on the fact that two out of two people didn’t remember that they were in a relationship at all. Which didn’t bode well at all when he went to see Doc next. He breathed out a shaky breath before looking back up at Grian.

“And Demise? Grian Head games? The Elytra course?”

“No,” he said softly, less enthusiastic than before. “Though the Elytra course does sound like a great idea to build. But uh, about Mumbo-”

He had enough of this, he needed to leave. “Do you know where Doc lives?” Ren asked in a rush. 

“Doc? Uh yeah, I can show you, but you don’t like Mumbo, do you?”

“No, no, I don’t, it’s just-” he cut himself off, feeling himself short of breath. Both Scar and Grian didn’t remember major events that happened before, including things they had been involved in. They hadn’t remembered their significant other either. He didn’t know what that meant for all the other hermits. And he didn’t know why they _wouldn’t remember_ anything.

“Okay,” Grian sighed out of relief. “Come on, I can show you where he lives, I’ve been there before.”

“Thanks Grian.” 

“Yep, no problem!” 

Ren doesn’t know how to feel now that he’s going to see Doc up and about, and no longer laying asleep. There was a chance that Doc wouldn’t remember their relationship together, like how Scar and Grian didn’t remember they had been in a relationship. 

“His place is on the left side,” Grian says, still sitting in the boat. “Bdubs lives on the right.”

“Thanks again, G.”

“No prob Ren!” he says with a smile. “Try not to get caught in a fight between them though, they don’t seem to like each other much.”

Ren nods and waves as Grian sails off. He looks back up at the house, both afraid and excited to see Doc. Judging by how Scar and Grian acted, he was almost entirely sure that Doc wouldn’t remember them either. Fear and dread kept him from taking the first step, not wanting to see Doc’s reaction to him.

He tried to tell himself that it was all fine, that Doc would remember him and they’d be together again. 

He takes a step up the hill and toward Doc’s house. He hears faint arguing, recognizing it as Doc and Bdub’s voices. Grian wasn’t lying when he said Doc and Bdub’s didn’t like each other. Ren walks closer, hearing the argument die down as Doc and Bdubs turn away from each other. 

Ren opened his mouth, but nothing came out, fear preventing him from speaking. He’s steps behind him, reaching out. “Uh-”

Doc stops, hearing someone, and he turns. Doc’s eyes settle right on him. He stared blankly, no emotions on his face.

Ren stood before Doc. The last time he had seen Doc, he had been asleep in their bed. He’d been waiting for this for so long and now that he was here in front of him, he could barely get the words out. Tears start to well up in his eyes. He wanted to just reach out and hug him, Ren missed him so much. 

“Yeah?”

But he needed to know something before he could hug him and hold him again. “Do you remember me? Doc?” His chest felt tight. This was it, he was going to hear his answer whether he liked it or not. And he just _hoped_ it was what he wanted to hear.

“Yeah, of course,” he says. “You’re Ren Dog.”

His heart drops. Doc didn’t remember him. 

‘ _You’re my Ren,_ ’ is something that he would always say. 

Ren couldn’t hold in his tears. “It’s good to see you again, Doc,” he choked out a sob, tears now falling. He wanted to reach out and hug him but it hurt too much, knowing Doc didn’t remember him. Not when his love stared at him as if he were a stranger.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked, looking a little concerned.

There were tears streaming down his face, he was heartbroken, and he barely managed to say, “I’m fine.” Doc is about to reach out to him but he could no longer bare it; he turns and leaves. He hated to break down in front of people, especially in front of Doc, but he couldn’t control it. Ren choked on his sobs as he rushed away. 

Doc didn’t remember him. He no longer loved him the way Ren loved him. 

“Wait, Ren!” Doc tried to call out. 

Ren places a boat on the water. As he sails away, he barely hears Bdubs yelling, “Wow, are you an asshole to _everyone_ you meet? You made him cry, you jerk!”

This was probably the only time Ren hoped he would wake up from his dream.

-.-

Ren breaks down, finding himself at the mooshroom island. He’s in tears, heartbroken that Doc had forgotten him too. He’d waited for so long to see him again but it just went all wrong. Doc didn’t remember him, Scar and Grian didn’t remember before. 

His face is in his hands, still tearing up. Ren feels something nudging against him, he keeps his face in his hands, not wanting to see anyone. He feels another nudge, and looks up. 

A mooshroom stared right at him. “ _Mooo._ ”

Ren was silent at first, eyes still red, nose a little stuffy, and tears still on his face. He sniffs, staring at the cow. “Hello there.”

“ _Mooo,_ ” the cow nudged him again. 

He reaches out to pet the cow. He sniffs again, letting out a sigh. “Everything’s gone wrong,” he mumbles as the cow mooed again. All he could think about is how terrible his day had been. Scar and Grian didn’t seem to remember their world, and worst of all, Doc didn’t remember him.

Ren breaths out, trying to level his breathing, and just focus on the mooshroom in front of him. The mooshroom seemed content, standing there and letting Ren pat her head. 

A small smile appeared on his face. “Thanks for the company,” he breathes out, he wipes his tears away, staring at the cow.

“ _Moo._ ” 

“I’m being silly, aren’t I?” He said with a chuckle, forcing a smile. He breathed out, the sun starting to set. He stands. “It’s late, I need to get going back ho-” his voice breaks, unable to finish his sentence. His eyes start to water again. 

He takes a step toward the boat and the mooshroom follows him. Ren looks at the cow. “You can’t come with me.” He took another step toward the boat and the mooshroom followed again. Ren stares at the cow, sighing. “You really wanna go with me, huh?” he stepped into the boat and the mooshroom followed. He sighed and smiled. “Alright, you can come, I need a friend to rely on. I’ll call you Pamela.”

-.-

Ren brings Pamela back to the shack on his lonely island. He makes a big wheat farm for her so she could eat as much as she wanted. 

He didn’t know if he could face yet another person not remembering anything. His heart could barely take Doc not remembering him. He didn’t know how to act.

He laid in bed. 

Everything around him was real, but he didn’t want it to be. For once, he wanted to wake up and let it all be a dream. He’s not sure which was worse, no one waking up, or everyone treating him as if nothing between them ever happened. 

With _Doc_ treating him as if he were a stranger. 

Ren turns onto his side, burying his face into his pillow. “Doc,” he sobbed. He missed him so much. He missed laying by his side at night, waking up to Doc brushing his hair from his face, and him pulling Doc to bed after he was up all night, working on some redstone things.

Ren doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but he wakes up to a wet pillow, eyes still red and slightly puffy.

-.-

Ren doesn’t go to see Doc, instead, he goes to find some of his other friends. Half hoping that maybe it was just the three of them, and everyone else remembered everything. He’s not entirely convinced that was the case, however. 

Ren’s not as happy as he was before to see Cub, seeing the pyramid he had seen a while ago. He’s still happy to see him though. 

“Hey, Cub,” he greeted. 

“Ren? Hey, man!”

“Cub, do you remember before?” he wanted to ask him too, kind of hoping he’d know.

“Before?” he looked confused for a brief moment, before realization appeared on his face. “Oh! You mean the other world?”

Hope filled him. “So you do know?”

“No, Scar told me about it.”

His smile dropped.

“He also mentioned a couple of other things, Ren, you okay dude? None of us are in a relationship,” Cub tells him. “And the Convex, the Stock Exchange, Demise, and the _“other world,”_ ” he said the last two words with a laugh. “None of those are real, dude.”

Ren was silent. Cub didn’t remember either, that was four out of four people so far. It didn’t look good. 

It _was_ real, though. He doesn’t know why they forgot, or how they even got there in that world, but it was real. 

Ren goes to see his good friend Iskall, only to be told the same thing. 

“Other world?” he said with a laugh. “Ren! My dude! What are you talking about?” He didn’t remember either. Not Sahara, not the tag game, not anything,

He goes to see Impulse next, but he doesn’t have to be there long to get his answer. “You’re not gonna ask me about this “other world” are you?” He had an amused expression on his face.

“No,” he says softly. “Just uh, haven’t seen you this entire time, just wanted to drop by and say hi.”

“Oh, well, hey Ren! Glad to see you!” 

Ren leaves immediately. He doesn’t go to see anyone else after. 

-.-

Ren patted Pamela on the head, giving her more wheat. It was easy with her, she didn't know him, and was a mooshroom, nothing was simpler than that. He could tell her things and she wouldn't judge because she was, again, a mooshroom. 

The hermits were back, yes, but they all seemed to have forgotten what happened to them before. All the memories they made, what they went through together, everything, all forgotten. He didn't know how to feel about that. They were his friends, but how was he supposed to interact with them, knowing they didn't remember anything from before, knowing that they all thought he was crazy?

Pamela mooed, snapping him out of his thoughts, staring right at him.

She was right, he needed to get back to working on things and stop moping. He needed to get a plan and work out what he was going to do. 

Ren loved Doc, he didn't want to give him up. But the huge problem was, Doc didn't remember him. And the reality was, Doc, or any of the other hermits, probably didn’t remember anything, and there was no use being hung up over it. Moping wasn’t going to do any good.

Ren forces himself up on his feet. It was time to get back to work and start anew.

-.-

Ren didn’t go to see Doc for a while. As much as it hurt him to stay away from him, he needed to focus on himself for a little while if he was going to put any plan into action. Or a lack of plan for that matter. 

The late nights were always the hardest. They were the times that he and Doc had reserved for themselves, relaxing after a long day and just spending it together. The nights in the no longer small shack was just a constant reminder of what used to be.

Ren decides that working harder in the day, forcing himself to just collapse at night, will help him not think about Doc.

It does, but only a tiny bit.

-.-

_Ren felt like he was flying. Using an elytra never failed to amaze him. But he couldn’t control it. He tried to get control of himself, using fireworks to try and adjust his flight. Then his elytra break. He starts to panic, hopelessly scrambling around. He looks down at the ground that grew closer and closer. He was afraid, he didn’t want to die. Before he hits the ground-_

-his eyes open. He jerks awake, breathing heavily in a cold sweat.

-.-

The next time Ren sees someone for the first time since they were awake, he doesn’t bring up the other world. Five out of five people not remembering tells him that no one else was going to remember, and that he should just stop trying. 

But he doesn’t have to even mention it for them to know about “the other world.” 

They all think it’s fake, taking it as a joke.

-.-

The next time Ren sees the shopping district, he’s pleasantly surprised, although slightly intimidated. The other hermits were already starting on their shops while he barely just got started.

“Ren! Hey!”

When he hears his name, he turns, recognizing the voice as Bdubs. “Bdubs! My man! Hey, what’s up?” The last time he had seen him, he and Doc were arguing over whatever it was they were arguing over. 

“I wasn’t able to catch up with you before, how’s the other world going?”

Ren pursed his lips. He’d learned already, asking people if they remembered the “other world” where the stock exchange, Demise, the Convex, Sahara, and all those other things, was a terrible idea. They had started to look at him oddly, acting as if he were crazy. “I think Loser Island is starting to get to me, dude!” he chuckled, acting as if it were all a joke. “Isolated by myself with only a mooshroom cow and the caves as company, starting to go crazy!” It was best to just not bring those times up anymore, lest they think even worse about him than they already did.

Bdubs laughed along with him, “Glad you’re starting to see reality!” 

Despite what the other thinks, he knows that was reality, they just didn’t remember. Of course that was the reality. 

Right?

“Anyways,” he took a small pause. “Sorry about my neighbor,” he sighs, shaking his head with a frown. “The guy can be a _real_ douche, too obsessed with that GOAT I tell you! It’s starting to get to his head, you know?”

Ren frowns a little, looking at him in confusion. “Goat?”

“He’s crazy!” Bdubs exclaims. “Don’t know what’s gotten into his head, but he _worships_ this Goat mountain, it’s starting to make him bonkers.”

“That’s-” he hesitated, unsure what to think about this. “Worrying.”

“I’m glad you see it my way, Ren!” Bdubs said with a smile. “Doc claims it stands for Grind, Optimize, Authorize, Tenderize or something like that, and then starts calling himself the GOAT father, he’s gone nutso. We have to stop him.”

“I-” Ren hesitated. Doc wouldn’t like them interfering with what he was doing but by what Bdubs explained it to be, that was slightly worrying. “What are we supposed to do, man? He’d slay us before he’d reason with us!” 

“Don’t worry, Keralis and I have a plan.”

He already had a bad feeling. “Maybe _I_ should talk to him first,” Ren suggested, slightly worried that he might do something drastic. 

“You said it yourself, dude! He won’t reason with _us._ ”

“What do you have planned, then? You’re not gonna do something stupid like blow up the Goat, are you?” When Bdubs goes silent, Ren immediately says, “Dude, that’ll only make it worse!”

“How do _you_ know that? It could make things better!”

“Trust me dude, I know. He’d only get angrier with you.”

-.-

Ren goes to see Doc the second time in this new world of theirs. He was more prepared than he was last time, but his nerves were still getting to him. 

When he arrives at Doc’s area, he hears noise going on in a room by the water. He gets out, seeing Doc inside with a bunch of villagers. He considers waiting outside until Doc is done, but decides to go in, not knowing how long he might take. 

“Doc?”

Doc pulls his sword out, tensing as he looks up.

Ren takes a step back, raising his hands, “Whoa! I’m not here to fight.” His eyes glance from the sword to his face. 

Doc calms down, face loosening up. “Sorry, force of habit, I thought you were my neighbor.” He puts his sword away. “You feeling better, Ren?” He stares at him with a calm expression, walking toward him as he pocketed the emeralds. 

“Huh?” Ren asked, eyebrows slightly raised. 

“Last time I saw you,” he says, fixing his ripped coat. “You cried.”

Ren tinged red out of embarrassment. He still couldn’t believe he cried in front of Doc. He’d done that quite a few times, but never liked doing it. The other would poke a little fun at him before pulling him into an embrace.

“What was that about?”

“Oh you know,” Ren shrugs, giving a fake smile. “I was just a bit off my game, the isolation craziness got to me for a bit.”

“Mhmm,” Doc said slowly, eyeing him with squinted eyes as he nodded slowly, not looking convinced one bit. “Just off your game,” he crossed his arms, still not looking convinced. “Of course.”

“Yeah, of course!” Ren chuckles. “What else would it be?” He felt a little uncomfortable under his judgemental gaze. He was very familiar with his facial expressions, and Ren knew that he did not believe him at all. 

“I didn’t say I doubted you,” Doc says, the usual “I’m right you’re wrong” tone of voice that he always used. 

“You certainly implied it.”

Doc ignores his questioning statement. “So, any reason why you dropped by?”

“Well,” Ren started, thinking over how he was going to approach this topic. “I’ve been talking to the other hermits-”

“Wow, so you talk to me last?” Doc said, half-joking. “I see how it is.”

“Gotta save the best for last.”

Doc grinned. “You know it.”

Ren’s heart felt better. He was able to talk to Doc again, getting back into conversations almost exactly like before. Now, he just wanted to reach out and feel Doc hold him again. 

“So, I was talking to the other hermits, and I was just wondering,” he pointed at the mountain right outside. “What’s that all about? I mean, it _looks_ nice, but what is it exactly?”

Doc beamed. “I’m glad you asked,” he steps outside, motioning Ren to follow him. “This is the mighty Goat,” he starts to explain, rambling on. 

Ren stands beside him, staring up at Doc as he grins at the Goat mountain. He unconsciously smiles, seeing Doc happily explain away. It was obvious no one really let him do that before then, at least willingly anyway. The Goat thing was a little weird, but Doc was passionate about it, like how they had been passionate about the stock exchange and he about area 77. So he couldn’t really fault him for it, could he?

“It stands for Grind, Optimize, Automate, and Thrive,” Doc finished. “Got it?”

Ren catches himself blatantly staring at Doc, forcing himself to look away and at the Goat, where the other man was looking. “Uh yeah, yeah I do. Sounds pretty good.”

“It’s just me and Etho so far,” Doc started.

Ren didn’t recognize that name. He knew that was the name of a hermit, but he hadn’t been in the other world, so he didn’t really know what they were like. 

“I can’t just ask _anyone,_ not everyone is trustworthy, y’know, just look at my neighbor,” Doc nodded his head toward the other half of the house. “And Etho doesn’t worship the Goat like I do either.” He gazed right at him. “Will you join me, Ren?”

Ren stared back at Doc, who was looking at him with a hopeful look, eye practically shining. This was a terrible idea, joining him in what was basically a cult? Or what, a mafia? But Ren had always been weak to that hopeful look of his.

“Okay.”

And it was also an excuse to be with Doc more, so he took it. 

Doc grinned. “Good.” 

-.-

“I’m sorry, you _what?_ ” 

“I joined him,” Ren repeated. The other man did not look happy at all, but Ren didn’t care as long as Doc was happy. 

Bdubs stared at him in disbelief. “Why?” he exclaimed, voice filled with confusion. “Why on _Earth_ would you join him? This is the complete opposite of what we agreed on!”

“He was happy with what he was doing,” Ren weakly argued. The look on Doc’s face as he had agreed to join him was something that he would never forget.

“You’re only encouraging him with his craziness!”

“I really don’t see how the Goat is making him crazy, my dude,” Ren denied. “Pretty sure you’re the one doing it.”

“ME?!” he stared at him, hand on his chest. “Fine, I’ll do it by myself then. You’ll see, you’ll _both_ see!” And with that, Bdubs left.

-.-

Ren debated not telling Doc about what Bdubs and Keralis potentially had planned. But he didn’t have to think about it for too long, to know what he was going to do.

“Hey Doc?”

“Yes, Ren?” Doc had been working on some of his redstone up on his castle in the sky when Ren had found him. 

“I’m _pretty_ sure Bdubs and Keralis have plans to blow up Goat mountain, I’m not entirely sure though.”

Doc looked pissed, stopping what he was doing. “Why? What’d the Goat do to them! It did nothing!” He growled, turning away from his redstone. 

Ren stood near him, letting him release some anger out. 

“And just when I thought things were calming down between us. When I get my hands on them, I’ll-” he gritted his teeth, just looking even angrier than Ren had expected.

Ren places a hand on his left shoulder. “Doc,” he says, stopping his rant. 

The other glances over, eyebrows raised and mouth gaping slightly. He wasn’t expecting that.

“We need to focus on stopping them from blowing up the mountain first before anything else. Besides, it isn’t even a guarantee they’ll do it,” he spoke in a calm manner. 

Doc breathes out with a nod, calming down a bit, which was a good sign. “Right, protecting the Goat comes first,” he paused. “ _Then_ we get our revenge.” Or not.

“Uh yeah,” Ren says unsurely, drawing the words out. “Goat first, dude, we’ll think about that later.”

-.-

Ren is sat on his bed, body slumped over with his face buried in his hands. 

It was hard pretending everything was fine. He was happy to see the hermits awake again, but there were times he'd think he'd just wake up and realize that everything had just been a dream again.

Then when they didn't remember anything? And acted as if he were insane? And no one believed him?

It was hard on him.

-.-

“You _tattle-tale,_ ” Bdubs glares at Ren the next time they meet.

Ren flinches at Bdubs outburst. He catches himself before his face could visibly react. “You were going to blow up the Goat!” Ren argues.

“And Doc killed me and Keralis because of it! That friggin hurt!”

“You shouldn’t have been griefing him, then!”

Bdubs gasped. “We weren’t _griefing,_ ” he argued. “We were gonna make _Doc_ grief _himself!_ ”

“Pretty sure that’s still griefing, dude.”

“Doesn’t matter! Point is, you’re clearly not on my side anymore,” Bdubs says. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“Dude!” Ren says. “If I didn’t tell Doc about it, you would’ve blown up the mountain, and he would have been after you! I’m on _both_ of your sides.” He didn't like seeing his friend fight, nor did he like it when they hated him. 

Bdubs still had his arms crossed, slowly getting used to the idea, but still didn’t look him in the eyes. “Still don’t know if I can trust you,” he says in a childish manner, very softly.

“Fine, what do you want me to tell you for you to trust me?” 

“First, tell me why are you so invested in me and Doc’s argument?”

“Because you two are friends.”

Bdubs scoffed. “Hah! _Friends._ I’ve been arguing with him the day we became neighbors.”

“What are you two even arguing about in the first place?” Ren asked curiously. 

“Are you kidding me? He-!” Bdubs stopped. “I-” he hesitated, looking deep in thought, calming down a little. “He settled in the area I wanted and he-" Bdubs stopped again, trying to think.

Ren stared at him, eyebrows raised. Bdubs didn’t remember why, did he?

“How did we end up with half of the same house again?” Bdubs mutters to himself. He stopped again. “ _Is_ it even the same house?”

Ren remembered Doc complaining to him long ago, back in the other world, the one the other hermits lost memories of. 

_“Damn Bdubs, he screwed me out of 10 diamonds!”_

_Ren had stared at Doc who looked angry. “We have way more than that, why are you so angry?”_

_“He took half the house I wanted to get for us!”_

Ren stopped. That’s right. 

He had forgotten that Doc was going to buy it for them. They already had a place together but it was something new, something they hadn’t really done before, an actual house instead of a base-like-building. 

His heart hurt, thinking about him and Doc like that again. The times where they joked and poked fun at each other, comforted each other in their times in need, and just kept the other company in times of silence.

“Doesn’t matter,” Bdubs continued, snapping Ren out of his memories. “He still settled in the same exact area I wanted to settle in!”

“Didn’t you move to a new area?”

“Yea- wait, how’d you know that?” Bdubs looked at him.

“You told me, remember?”

“Dang it,” he cursed under his breath. Bdubs sighed. “You really are stubborn, aren’t you, Ren?”

“So are you, dude,” Ren paused. “So, are you two gonna make up or what?”

“God-! _Fine,_ ” Bdubs agreed with a huff. “You go talk to him first and I’ll see him tomorrow. And you better be there too! Otherwise, he’ll just kill me again, and then you can _forget_ us making up!”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry.”

-.-

Ren watches as Doc works on something in front of Goat mountain. He sits to the side, watching as Doc places redstone, not wanting to interrupt him. He sits, thinking back on the times where he’d look over from his building and watch Doc work. He was alright at redstone, but Doc was amazing at it, and it never seizes to amaze him. 

He’s not sure how long he’s there before Doc finishes and finally notices him. “Ren?” he says, dusting his hands on his pants of the redstone that collected over the Goat Mountain project. 

“Doc! Hey,” he pushes himself onto his feet, meeting him halfway. 

“Hey, what are you doing here? It’s certainly a surprise, but a welcome one.”

“I just heard a rumor.”

“Oh?” he asked, sounding very curious.

“It’s about Bdubs.”

“What is he up to now?” he said in a defeated tone. 

“Actually, I heard he’s looking to stop the fighting between you two.”

Doc let out a laugh. “I doubt it! Where’d you hear that?”

“Around,” he says. “But what if it were true?”

“Then I’ll eat my diamond boots.”

Ren laughed. “I’ll hold you to that!”

“Except it’s never gonna happen.”

“Hey, you never know!”

Doc smirked, taking a step closer to him. “Oh yeah, what do I get if I’m right?”

“Then-” Ren hesitated, wondering what to say. He knew Bdubs was going to see him tomorrow, so he could say anything and not have to do it. “I’ll do anything you want for a week.”

Doc grinned. “Clear your schedule Ren, because there’s no way Bdubs wants to make up.”

“In your dreams, Doc.”

Ren waits at Doc’s place the next day as promised. He watches as Bdubs boats from the harbor. He waves a greeting as he gets out of the boat, approaching him. 

“Is Doc here?”

“Yeah, down in his villager breeder, working on some stuff.”

“And you talked with him already?”

“I did, I’m pretty sure he won’t attack you.”

“Only _pretty sure?_ ” he asked, a worried expression on his face.

“Hey, I did all I could, dude.”

Bdubs sighs, looking at it. “Well, wish me luck, Ren.”

“You’re not gonna die,” Ren promises.

“You sure about that?” Bdubs looked at him with an unsure look before looking back. “Well, here I go.” He steps forward, making his way to the metal door. 

Ren sits back, he wasn’t really worried about him. They’d be just fine.

-.-

After Bdubs and Doc made up, with Doc’s reluctant acceptance, and Ren’s reassurance that he didn’t actually have to eat his boots, he left to go back to work on his island. Upon his return, he sees signs sitting on the coast. With a curious look on his face, he gets out of the boat and walks toward it. 

His heart drops. 

“If you want to see Pamela, pay me 100 diamonds by the end of the week or else she’ll be steak and leather, IJevin,” Ren aloud. 

“No, Pam!” he sobbed aloud. 

He’d been too focused on himself and helping out Doc to realize that Pamela had disappeared. She may have been a mooshroom, but she was still his friend. She was the listening ear that he needed when no one was around. Pam was the one that he ranted to, allowing him to process everything and get his head back on straight. 

He didn’t have 100 diamonds, he barely had his diamond tools and armor, there was just no way that he’d be able to get all that.

Ren had to make a deal with Jevin, because there was no way he could get that many diamonds.

He sets out immediately, he has no time to waste. He needed to get Pamela back. He takes him awhile to find IJevin’s place, considering he’d never been there and he hadn’t talked to him since before he woke up in this world. 

“Jevin?” he says, once he approaches him.

“Ren,” he greeted with a smirk. “Here for Pamela, I see?”

Ren nodded. “Listen man, I don’t have 100 diamonds.”

“You still have a few days to get them.”

“Come on man, maybe we can work out some kind of deal?” He couldn’t lose Pamela, he just _couldn’t._

Jevin raised his eyebrows at him. “What could be worth _more_ than 100 diamonds?”

Ren tried to come up with something on the spot. “Maybe, uh, wrestling federation?” He knew Jevin was into things like that, maybe he’d be interested in that. “If you win, you keep Pamela, and if I win, I get Pamela.”

Jevin thought about it. “Has to be more than that Ren, I already _have_ Pamela. Though, the wrestling thing sounds interesting.”

“Okay, how about you also permanently get a cut of the profits?” 

“Deal.”

Ren let out a breath of relief. “How about we make it a four v four?”

“Alright, see you next week, Mad Dog.” 

-.-

Ren now needed three more people on his team. The first person he had in mind would surely help, right?

“Doc,” he says, standing before the other man, who had put a suit on for this specific meeting. “Goat father,” he says a moment after. “I have a request.” 

“Anything for family.”

Ren doesn’t comment on that, unsure what to think about that, but Pam came first, so he’d just brush that comment to the side for now. “Jevin took Pam from me,” he says. 

Doc looked at him, eyebrows slightly raised. His lips in a firm line. “Pam?” he says softly.

“My mooshroom cow, Pamela,” Ren explains.

Doc nodded slowly. “I see.”

“Jevin took her from me. We agreed on a wrestling match in a team of four v four, and I was wondering if you could be on my team?”

Doc looked at him with a firm gaze. “You know the Goat Father doesn’t get his hands dirty.”

Ren visibly deflated. Looks like he’d need to go to someone else for help. 

“But I do have something for you.” Doc places a few glass bottles onto the table, sliding it over. 

Ren picks them all up, observing the glowing liquid. “What is it?”

“Goat Juice.”

Ren eyes it curiously, slightly judging the name Doc had given it. 

“It’s a guaranteed win if you take it.” 

Was Doc suggesting he cheat? He fiddled with the potion bottles, thinking it over. 

“I can also get Etho for you on your team, he’s a very talented man.”

Ren still didn’t know who Etho was, but if Doc said he was good, then he trusted his judgement. As for the other two, he already had some people in mind. 

Ren goes to find False before Jevin does. He knew she was the best at pvp out of all the hermits. She agreed as long as he owed her a favor. He now had three people on his team, so he just needed one more. 

But he only had a few days left and he still needed to train up. He was running out of both time and people to ask, because many hermits that weren’t on a team, still thought he was out of his mind. He really only had one person to ask.

“Bdubs,” Ren stands before the man who was still in the middle of packing his stuff away. 

“Me?” Bdubs asked, shock on his face. “You’re asking _me?_ ”

“I had no one else to ask-”

“Oh of course,” Bdubs mutters under his breath as Ren continued. “That’s why.”

“And I needed your help.”

“So? What’d you need me for?” 

“A wrestling tourna-”

“ _PVP?_ ” Bdubs interrupted him. “Come on, you know I’m not good at that kinda stuff.”

“It’s not _technically_ PVP,” Ren attempts to convince me.

“It’s still battling!” Bdubs says. “Listen, if you’re that desperate to ask me, _me_ of all people, then I’ll help you out.”

“Thank you, Bdubs!” 

“ _But,_ ” he says pointedly. “Only as a last resort. If you really can’t find anyone, I’ll join your team.”

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you! I can get Pamela back!”

“Pam- _who?_ ”

“My mooshroom cow friend.”

Bdubs stared at him blankly. “You _have_ been on your own way too much.”

-.-

Ren stands in the middle of his newly built HWF arena, wearing a coat over his wrestling clothes. The tournament was that day and he was just getting some last minute workouts and trying to calm himself down before it started. He was in the middle of a work out when he heard his name.

“Ren.”

He stops, turning to see Doc standing before him, wearing the same suit from before. “Doc.”

“Etho should be here soon, did you manage to find two more teammates?”

“Yeah, they’re over there,” he motioned over to False and Bdubs who was warming up.

Doc stared at them, eyebrows raised before looking back at him. “False, I understand, but _Bdubs?_ ” 

“I was desperate, okay? I didn’t have anyone else to ask, and he agreed to do it for me.”

Doc glanced over at Bdubs again before looking back at Ren. “Fine, I’ll do it then.”

“But you told me-”

“It’s a guaranteed loss if he does it,” Doc says firmly. “It’s a good thing I prepared.” 

Ren watches as Doc removes his lab coat, placing it on a bench, followed by his pants, revealing black trunks with a white stripe on it. It was a sight he was used to, but not in public and definitely not the wrestling trunks either. 

“You’re joining my team?” Ren asks, forcing himself to look up at his eyes. 

Doc grinned. “Of course I am.”

The tournament goes on with Doc, False, and Etho on the side of Ren, and Cub, Impulse, and XbCrafted on the side of Jevin. Ren doesn’t forget to drink the Goat Juice Doc had given him toward the end of the battle, allowing him to defeat the last two on Jevin’s team.

“Ren’s team wins!” Grian declared.

Ren beams, eyes tearing up as he rushed over to Pamela. He had gotten her back. “Pam!” he says, grinning widely. He embraces her as the others talk about how fun the tournament had been. He ignores them for now as he takes in the fact that he had Pam back.

As some of them clear up, he turns, seeing Doc, False, and Etho standing there. 

“Doc! Thank you,” he says smiling, he tackles him into a hug, holding on tight. “Thank you, I have Pamela back now.”

“You’re welcome, Ren,” he says, placing his hands around him and embracing him. 

“Glad you have your mooshroom back, Ren,” False calls over before leaving. 

“I don’t get a hug?” Etho asks from the side.

Before Ren could say anything, Doc answers, “ _No,_ ” before pulling him closer. 

-.-

_Ren wakes up, feeling lips pressed against his forehead, fingers brushing his hair to the side. He sleepily opens his eyes, groaning, “Lemme sleep.”_

_“I let you sleep long enough, Ren,” Doc says softly, chuckling as he stares down at him._

_“Mrph,” Ren held onto him, closing his eyes again and resting his head against his chest._

_Doc chuckled again, holding Ren in his arms. “Come on, man,” he rubbed his back, smiling at him. “I’d be up by now, if it wasn’t for you.”_

_“What would you do without me,” Ren said sleepily._

_“Get things done.”_

_Ren laughed into his chest, looking up at Doc. He gently pushes him, as Doc laughed with him. “You know you love me, Doc.”_

_“I do.”_

Ren wakes up in tears, he misses mornings like that with Doc. He wonders if he’s ever going to have that again.

He doubts it.

-.-

It’d been a while since he had been in the other world; the stock exchange, the hippies versus area 77 battle, and demise, it felt so far away. They were things he vividly experienced, and now they just felt like far away memories. He barely remembered any of them, he felt like he was forgetting many of the times then. 

He was in this new world, interacting with everyone in new ways vastly different before. They were all convinced someone was one way and had certain memories while he had thoughts that people acted a different way. 

Ren started to doubt whether or not this “other world” truly existed. He had this view of the world, of the hermits, that only he had. 

Were they all right about him? Had he been dreaming it all? _Was_ he crazy?

-.-

Ren had no memories of Etho, other than meeting him at the HWF. Nor did he have any memories of Beef and Hypno. He barely had a face to their names.

The whole time he was there, he hadn’t seen Python, Jessassin, Wels Knight, or Biffa. He just didn’t understand. He knew them but not Etho, Beef, or Hypno. _Why?_

If this “other world” wasn’t actually real like all the other hermits were telling him, then why did he have memories and knowledge of four people he had never met? And why not three people that he supposedly knew for the longest time?

But everyone else knew Etho, Beef, and Hypno, they all treated them as if they were here this whole time. Maybe they were?

Ren felt frustrated. 

Everything he felt like he knew, conflicted with what he was seeing, with what he was _experiencing._

According to Scar, he wasn’t with everyone in the beginning. Maybe he hit his head? It would explain why he wasn’t there in the first place, and why his memory was so fuzzy. 

He started to doubt whether or not the memories in his head were real. 

Ren reached out, placing his hand on his quadro-chopper. He felt the rough texture of the wooden pillars, reminding himself that he was then and there. 

He wanted to go to Grian and ask if he remembers Hippie-Land or go to False and ask if she remembered being neighbors together in the fantasy district. But he could already vividly picture the confused expression on their faces without needing to ask. 

Grian and False didn’t know what that was, none of them knew. 

But _Ren_ did. He could picture it, living those experiences with everyone. He was _sure_ that it happened. 

He was pretty sure, it did. 

Ren stops, breathing in and out to calm himself down. 

Of course it happened.

-.-

He doesn’t go to see anyone for a while, needing to stay by himself. Everything was getting too overwhelming for him. Trying to figure out what was real and what wasn’t, it was too much for him.

He sat in a field, fiddling with some flowers. He was sure he had made flower crowns before, back when he and Grian were hippies fighting against area 77. Ren made them pretty often so he was quite familiar with the process of making it, he practically could do it blindfolded.

So _why_ didn’t he remember how to do it?

Ren drops the flowers he had been fiddling with out of frustration, eyes watering. He used to be so good at this, he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Maybe he hadn’t made them before, after all?

“What’d those flowers do to you?”

Ren stops, hearing a familiar voice. He looks up, seeing Doc staring right down at him. 

“I’m just trying to make a flower crown,” Ren muttered, staring back down at the flowers with a frown on his face. “I can’t remember how to do them.” His fists were clenched tight on his pants, glaring down at the many failed attempts at a crown. 

It was silent for a bit. 

Then Doc sighs, and he takes a seat next to him. “What’s really wrong, Ren, this isn’t like you.”

Ren bit his lip, not wanting to say anything. Everyone else he told thought he was crazy, Doc would just say the same thing. Ren didn’t want him to think negatively of him, it’d break him if Doc thought of him that way. 

“Ren,” he places his hand on his shoulder. “Come on man, you can trust me.”

Ren didn’t say anything, refusing to meet his eyes. “No one else believed me,” he said softly. 

“I’ll believe you.”

Ren felt tears in his eyes, thankful for Doc. “It happened so long ago,” he starts to say. “I’m starting to think it never happened.” No one else remembered the world before, if it were ever a thing. He hesitates, “I remember a world before this, where we all lived in different districts.”

Doc sat silently, letting him talk.

“I don’t know who Etho, Beef, or Hypno are, they weren’t there,” Ren felt a tear run down his face. “I don’t have any memories of them. And Python, Jessassin, Wels Knight, and Biffa are missing, I haven’t seen them the entire time we were here, _no one_ remembers them, only I do!” 

Doc rubbed his hand on his back in comfort. 

“Things are different here,” Ren continued. “Too different. No one else remembers what happened, not even what happened at the end.”

“What happened at the end?” 

“They wouldn’t wake up, Doc. One by one, everyone stopped waking up, and then it was just me,” Ren cried. “I don’t know how long I was alone for,” Doc pulled him into a hug. “I tried to wake everyone up, I _hoped_ someone woke up, just so I wouldn’t be alone anymore,” Ren held onto his lab coat, burying his head in his chest as he didn’t hold back. “I lost you when about half of the hermits were gone, then you didn’t remember me, _no one did._ They all think I’m crazy.”

Doc held him tighter. “If you remember it, then that’s all that matters, you’re not crazy for feeling what you feel.”

Ren cried. That’s what he needed for such a long time, for someone to hold him and tell him that everything was okay.

-.-

Ren didn’t know when he fell asleep, but it wasn’t like any other time. He felt warm, unlike every other night where it was cold and lonely. Slowly, his eyes open, and he soon realizes that he’s laying on someone, their arms wrapped around them. 

He looks up, seeing Doc staring straight at him. 

At first, he thinks he’s back in the other world. “Doc?” It reminded him of back then, when every night since they moved in with each other. 

“Good sleep?”

Ren smiles. “Yeah, I missed this,” leans back onto Doc, cuddling into him. 

Doc held him closer, slowly rubbing his back. 

He lays there for a bit, just enjoying the moment. It takes a moment for Ren to realize that it wasn’t the same world, and Doc didn’t like him the same way as he did before. He pushes himself up, catching Doc off guard, “Sorry,” he sits up, breaking away from his embrace. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“No, no,” Doc says, sitting up from where he was leaning against a tree. “You’ve been through a lot, Ren, you needed it.” He hesitated. “And I didn’t really mind it, you know?”

Ren tinged red, not knowing what to say. He didn’t want to bring his hopes up and be brought down again. It happened so many times already that he was already used to it. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Seriously Ren,” Doc continues. “I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thank you Doc.”

-.-

Ren feels a little better after talking to Doc. 

He’d been so worried about what Doc would think of him. That maybe he’d think he was crazy like everyone else had or even shun him away, but Doc was accepting of him. He understood and let him let it all out. He no longer felt like he was alone, he finally had someone on his side.

Yet, he still couldn’t help but worry that everything will go wrong.

_Ren felt like he was drowning. He struggled to get the surface of the cloudy water. The waves weren’t rough, yet they were just enough to make him struggle. He could faintly see a figure in the distance. He recognized them, and called out to them._

_“Doc!” he yelled out, desperately hoping he’d hear him._

_But the other didn’t. No matter how much he shouted, Doc never noticed._

Ren jerked awake, gasping for breath. His hands went to his chest, clutching tightly. He felt panicked, taking deep breaths in and out. 

-.-

“Ren.”

Ren stops, hearing Doc’s voice. He looks up, seeing a nervous look on his face, his hands behind his back. “Doc, hi.”

“I got you something,” he stands before him. 

Ren looked at him curiously. “What is it?”

“I uh,” Doc removed his hands from behind his back, revealing a flower crown made of white, pink, and red flowers. “Asked Stressmonster how to make this,” he raised it up to him. “I made it for you. I think I remember enough to teach you how to make it.”

Ren teared up, smiling brightly. “Thank you, Doc,” he moves to hug him. Doc wrapped an arm around him, as Ren hugged him tight. “This means a lot to me.”

Ren leaned away a little, looking up at him. 

Doc smiled back. “Here,” he takes the crown in both of his hands, placing it on his head.

Ren brushes his hand against the flower crown. 

“I uh, can teach you how to make it, if you want?”

“If you have the time.”

“I’d always have time for you.”

-.-

Ren doesn’t dream that night. 

He thought that after talking with Doc, it’d help him through the nights better, but it looked like it just made it worse.

-.-

Ren just worked throughout the day, and throughout the night. He didn’t want to sleep anymore. It just seemed to be getting worse and worse for him. 

He was dead tired, but he refused to sleep, and instead, worked on _anything_ else, just to get his mind off things.

“You look tired.”

Ren barely registered someone talking to him and continued working. 

“ _Ren,_ ” a hand moves to his shoulder, forcing him to look over to the person who spoke to him.

“Huh?” he glances up. 

“When was the last time you slept?” Doc stared at him with concern.

Ren says nothing, avoiding his gaze.

“You haven’t been sleeping, have you?” he says with a sigh. “What’s wrong Ren?” Doc was still met with silence. “I told you I’m here if you needed someone to talk to.”

“I’ve just been having trouble sleeping, that’s all, it’s nothing to worry about.”

Doc stared at him, a look of disbelief on his face. 

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I, Doc?” Ren says softly. “It’s- I wasn’t lying, I do have trouble sleeping,” he looked off to the side, staring blankly. “I just get nightmares, that’s all, it’s stupid, I know,” he shook his head with a sigh, waving it off.

“It’s not stupid, Ren.”

Ren stops, finally looking up at Doc.

“You’ve been through a lot, anyone else would be feeling what you did had they been through it all.” 

“But would they really?”

“Of _course,_ Ren,” he pauses. “Can I hug you? It seems like you need it.”

Ren nods and takes a step forward, accepting Doc’s embrace. “Thank you.”

“I think you need to go to an expert on this.”

“No,” he said without hesitation. “Everyone else I told didn’t believe me, they just thought I was crazy.” Telling someone would just make it worse.

“Xisuma and Joe wouldn’t judge you like that,” Doc says. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just think it’d be better if you see someone about it. Xisuma might know what’s going on, he’s the admin afterall.”

Ren thinks it over. 

“If you’re not ready to tell anyone else yet, then you don’t have to.”

“No, you’re right Doc. It’s just,” he clutches onto the back of his torn lab coat, clenching his jaw. “What if they reject me too? Everyone else did.”

“You have me,” Doc reassures him. “I’ll knock some sense into them.”

Ren chuckled. “Thanks Doc, I knew I could depend on you.”

-.-

Ren felt like he could collapse at any moment. His heart was racing, chest tight, feeling very hot and sweaty from the _thought_ of telling Xisuma of what was going on through his mind. If it weren't for Doc, he would have fainted long ago. 

"You can do this, Ren," Doc says in a reassuring voice, holding his hand as the other held him with a bone-crushing grip.

"I'm scared, Doc," he says softly. "What if he thinks I'm crazy, like everyone else did?"

"Xisuma is a very understanding person. He wouldn't make you feel less of a person for things," Doc tells him. "And if he does it without realizing it, he'll make sure that he'll make it up to you."

Ren silently took that all in. He took a deep breath before looking up at the nether portal. "Okay, I think I'm ready."

They step through, looking throughout his base. They find him at his bee farm, restocking the bottles and shears. He doesn't notice them at first.

Ren and Doc stand a few feet away from him. He opens his mouth to call out his name but it falls short. Doc stands next to him, rubbing his back in comfort, muttering soft reassurances. 

The last proper time he had faced Xisuma was back in the other world, the day before he fell to the curse like everyone else had. 

_“It’s going to be okay, right X?”_

Ren doesn't have long before Xisuma turns, seeing them standing there. "Ren, Doc! Hello, I didn't see you there." His focus turns to Ren. "Oh jeez, Ren, are you alright? You don't look so good."

Ren chokes on his words, struggling to come out with it.

Doc didn't say anything, still holding him close.

"It's alright, Ren, take your time."

"Do you want me to tell him?" Doc asked softly. 

Ren shook his head. "X, do you-" he says quietly slowly. "-believe in other worlds?"

Xisuma doesn't say anything at first. "Can you explain to me what you mean by that?" he asks carefully. 

"Before this one," Ren continues, trying to stop his voice from shaking. "Before we were all here, we were all in a different world."

"Ren-"

"I am not crazy, Xisuma-" Ren snaps, refusing for yet another person to think negatively of him. "I'm tired of people telling me that I'm insane and looking at me with-"

" _Ren,_ " Xisuma places his hands on his shoulders, gaining his attention. "You are not crazy." 

Ren stares with wide eyes, caught off guard at his reaction.

"You're not crazy, Ren," he repeated calmly. "Because I remember it all too."

"You do?" Ren said softly. 

"I do."

"The stock exchange, Grian head hunt, demise?" he asks a little desperately. Maybe he _finally_ had someone who understood.

Xisuma nodded. "I remember how you and Doc worked for ages on that thing, how False won the scavenger hunt, how you lost first in Demise, _everything._ "

Ren felt tears. He _wasn't_ crazy after all! Everyone else had been wrong about him, there _was_ another world before this one.

"I am _so sorry,_ Ren," Xisuma was sincere. "You've been through a lot, and I know me saying "sorry" doesn't change things, but you weren't supposed to remember."

Ren stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't believe his ears. 

"What do you mean he wasn't supposed to remember?" Doc had voiced the question that was on both of their minds. 

"I mean that Ren was supposed to forget the last world like everyone else had," Xisuma explained. "Something must have gone wrong and I fell asleep before you had."

"Xisuma, what do you mean, "went wrong"?" Doc asked, starting to sound annoyed.

Ren kept silent, taking everything in.

"It happens every time before we're dropped in another world, the hermits don't wake up, and we end up in another world."

"There's been other times?!" 

"Doc, it's not helping if you-"

"Where's Python?" Ren interrupted. "And Jessassin? And Wels? And Biffa?"

Xisuma fell silent. 

That didn’t sound good at all. “Are they,” his voice shook, fearing the worst. “Are they dead?”

“No,” Xisuma shakes his head, saying it softly. “No, they’re not dead.”

“How do you know if they’re not dead?” Ren asked desperately. “How do you know if they’re safe if you don’t know where they are?”

“ _Because_ it’s happened before, Ren,” Xisuma stops his tirade. “We’ve had hermits go missing between worlds and then reappear. Etho, Hypno, and Beef weren’t with us in the last world, but Etho and Beef were with us in the world before the one you remember. And Hypno was missing for two entire worlds.” He paused. “They’re not dead, Ren, they’ll be back eventually.”

“Why doesn’t anyone else remember them? Or _anything_ that’s happened before?”

“Because look at you, Ren! You’re a wreck!” Xisuma exclaims. “And so were _they._ Everytime a friend of ours, or significant other, had gone missing between jumps, they were a complete wreck. And when we’ve had time to cope with it, someone _else_ has gone missing or they’re suddenly back, it messes with people’s heads. It was better for everyone to forget.”

“We deserve to know what happened to our friends, Xisuma,” Doc says firmly. 

Xisuma shook his head. “You weren’t there Doc, you don’t understand how badly it affected people,” he motioned to Ren. “Just look at Ren.”

“What Ren felt and what _they_ felt aren’t the same!” Doc snapped. “They at least all had people _believing_ them. Ren was by himself for so long, with the others thinking he was out of his mind. He didn’t have a clue what was going on and-”

Ren places his hand on Doc’s arm and he immediately calms down. “Can we go?” he asked softly. “I need to-” he cut himself off, sniffing.

“Of course, Ren.”

Both Ren and Doc stay silent, as the latter leads him away. 

-.-

“I don’t think I can be alone right now, Doc,” Ren’s voice cracked. “Can I-”

“Anything you need,” Doc pulled him close, rubbing his back comfortingly.

Ren accepts the hug, burying his head in his chest as he wraps his arms around him. 

“Tell me about the other world,” Doc says softly. “What’s this “Stock Exchange” Xisuma was talking about?”

Ren sniffed, a small smile on his face. He was really glad for Doc, he would have gone insane long ago if it hadn’t been for him.

And then he proceeds to tell him all about the struggles, the bowtie prank, the robbery, _everything_ about what had gone down in the stock exchange.

That night had been the quickest Ren had ever gone to sleep. And for once, he doesn’t have a nightmare.

-.-

Ren wakes up to an empty bed. He’s confused at first, not recognizing where he was at but quickly remembers that he’s at Doc’s place. He gets up, moving to find Doc.

“Morning,” Doc greeted. “Did you have a good sleep?”

“Best ever, no nightmares either.”

Doc smiled at him and Ren felt his heart soar, seeing that same fond smile he hadn’t seen in such a long time. He clears his throat, turning away so Doc didn’t see the red tinge to his face. 

“Good to hear, Ren,” Doc says.“If you need to stay over again, come over anytime. And I’m always here if you need someone.”

“Thanks Doc.”

-.-

Ren needed time to deal with things. Hearing everything from Xisuma just made him have more questions. He had a small breakdown but Doc had been there to support him. 

He still loved him, never stopped loving him, but at this point, he doesn’t think he should be with him. Doc deserved more than him, someone who wasn't so needy and constantly needed support. 

Someone who wasn't so _broken._

-.-

He returns to the small shack on the island. 

It now felt so empty and lonely. Before, it didn't really bother him, but now, the silence was deafening. 

Ren starts to prepare for a move. A place where there were more hermits other than just himself. 

He finds a place in a mesa biome, recognizing it as the same jungle biome he wandered into when he first saw someone awake. He marks it off as his own before returning to his shack and packing up his stuff.

Ren doesn't sleep that night. The bed was far too cold and lonely without Doc next him. 

Instead, he works through the night, and the next few nights moving everything. In his last trip, he brought Pamela and Sandy cat with him, Pam sitting behind him and Sandy cat sitting on his lap.

Ren builds a small house made of sandstone, much different than the one on his island. It helps a little, knowing that he didn't have to go so far to see someone. But he never does, unable to beat how they would react to him in his current condition.

-.-

"Ren, there you are."

Ren looks up to see Doc approaching him, a look of relief on his face. 

"When did you move?"

"Just now," Ren tells him. "I finished moving everything over, and I-" he stops, seeing the expression on Doc's face. "What? What is it?"

"You haven't been sleeping again, have you, Ren?" Doc says calmly, slowly bringing his hand up to touch his face. "Are the nightmares back?" he brushes his thumb against his cheek.

Ren purses his lips, glancing to the side. "No, I-" he stops, breathing in. "It's too lonely at night, I can't bare it."

"Ren, you’re not alone, you have me."

Ren wanted to reach out and for Doc to hug him, like he had a few days ago, like he had in the other world.

"I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not a burden, Ren, I care about you."

"Then you shouldn't care so much."

"That would never happen," Doc says. "I'll never stop caring about you, whether you think it or not." Doc takes a step closer, raising his arms before stopping. 

Ren doesn't say anything and nods, moving into his embrace. 

"I want to help you, tell me how."

Ren couldn't resist and hugged him back. "I don't want to lose you again," he whispered. 

"You'll never lose me," he moves his hands to bring him in closer. "I'm here, Ren, awake and safe."

Ren says nothing, enjoying the warmth enveloping him. 

"Since you couldn't sleep, stay with me again tonight. It helped last time." 

"Okay."

-.-

Ren stays with Doc again that night, and the next. He was hesitant at first, feeling as if he was just taking advantage of Doc’s kindness and just burdening him with his problems. But the other always told him that he wasn’t and was always happy to hear him out. 

The more Doc says that, the more Ren feels bad about doubting him and the worse he gets. 

But at night, Ren gets to pretend that everything is alright, that they were in the other world, that Python, Jessassin, Biffa and Wels were back, and nothing had gone wrong at all. That he and Doc were still in a relationship, still talking about the results of Demise and how to get back at Grian. 

It wasn’t healthy for him to do that, he knows it, but he couldn’t help but pretend.

Ren glances to his side, seeing the slow rise and fall of Doc’s chest as he lay fast asleep. He turns on his side, and he couldn’t help himself but he moves a bit closer, laying his head against his chest, arm around him, as they had done back in the other world.

When he wakes up in the morning, he feels an arm wrapped around him. “Morning.” He opens his eyes, looking up at Doc to see him staring right back at him.

“I’m sorry, I fell asleep on you,” Ren pushes away from him. “Did I prevent you from being able to get up?”

“No, no, I just got up too,” Doc quickly denied. “Don’t worry, you didn’t wake me up.”

Ren stands from the bed, “I need to work on my logging business, I haven’t restocked in awhile.”

“Good luck,” Doc tells him, sitting up in his bed. “I’ll see you later.”

Ren waves him goodbye and leaves the room. 

-.-

Ren sometimes wondered why Doc even bothered with him. He was a complete mess and had so many problems to deal with, so why did Doc waste his time on him? He just didn’t get it. 

Rem goes back to work on his log business, wanting to get his mind off of things. 

Iskall had asked him a while back for wood in exchange for diamonds. He hadn't been able to get that to him yet so he decided to get that done.

It was also a while since he saw him. The last time he did, Iskall had laughed at him for bringing up the other world. He still considered him a good friend, it wasn't his fault that he didn't remember anything. Heck, Ren remembered it all and _he_ thought he was crazy.

"Ren, dude, hey!" Iskall greeted with a smile. "How've you been!"

"It's been," Ren says vaguely. "Got that wood you ordered."

Iskall grinned. "Perfect! How many diamonds will that be?"

"10 diamond blocks for everything."

Iskall hands him the diamonds. "So," Iskall says with a smirk. "You know the hermits talk."

Ren pockets the diamonds. "They can get pretty nosy, yeah."

"They're saying you and Doc have a thing going on," Iskall says, trying really hard not to smile. "Truth or rumor?"

"Uh," Ren didn't know what to say. 

"So it's true!" he grinned. "You two are dating."

"No!" Ren exclaimed. "No, Doc and I aren't dating." He wished they were, but they weren't.

"Uh huh," he says with a nod, doubt on his face. "And that's why people say you've been staying over at his place at night. _Right._ "

"No," Ren says, shaking his head. "It's not like that, Doc's been helping me out lately. I've had trouble sleeping lately, that's all."

"Trouble sleeping?" Iskall immediately looked concerned, dropping the grin on his face. "Why? What's wrong?"

Ren tensed up. Iskall had laughed at him when he told him, there was no way he would tell him. He wouldn’t understand me. 

"Come on, you can trust me, dude!"

"I'm uh," Ren started stuttering, wanting to get out of there. "I have to-"

Iskall looked at him. "Ren," he says, hurt in his voice. 

Ren turns, heading out. 

-.-

Ren goes to find Doc.

He hated that he needed to depend on him so much, but he needed him right now. He finds him at his half of the mansion. He was on the upstairs floor, working on some obsidian box.

Ren climbs the stairs, making his way to him. "Doc?" 

Doc pops his head up from the box. "Ren?" 

"I need-" he stops. 

Doc climbs out of the box, hopping down to meet him. "What's wrong, Ren?"

Ren doesn't say anything, hugging him. 

Doc returns the hug, holding him close. 

"Rough day?"

Ren nodded.

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything."

For a while, they say nothing. Doc just holds him, letting Ren hug it out.

"Why me, Doc," he mumbled softly.

"Sorry?" he asked. 

"Why me?" he asked a bit louder. "Thank you for being here for me, but I'm sure there's so much other stuff you'd rather do."

"You're my friend," Doc says gently. "And I care about you."

"Any other person wouldn't have helped me out like you did. They thought I was pathetic."

"They didn't say that," Doc says, rubbing his back in comfort. "They just didn't believe you, they did _not_ think you were pathetic."

Ren doesn't say anything. 

"I don't think you're pathetic Ren," Doc tells him. And from the tone of his voice, he could tell he was being genuine. "You're a great and strong person, anyone would be glad to call you their friend or partner."

His heart ached. He wanted Doc to call him that again like he had before but he wouldn't ever do that again, would he? Even if they did, and that's a big if, they'd never have the same relationship as they did before.

-.-

That day, instead of working on their own things, they spend it together. It's the first time they've spent the entire day together, usually it's just right in the morning and at night.

Ren enjoys his time with Doc, but finds himself having wishful thoughts.

"Ren," Doc's voice was gentle and much more hesitant that it had been all day. 

Ren stares at him, curious at the change in his tone of voice. "Yeah?"

Doc looks right into his eyes, taking his hand and holds it between his own. 

"You know you're my friend, right? And I care about you, I'd never want to do anything that would hurt you or would ever take advantage of you."

Ren didn't know where Doc was going with this.

"But I thought you should know, before you find out at a worse time," Doc paused, breathing in. "Ren, I love you."

Ren felt like he was dreaming. He stared at Doc, shock on his face. He had longed to hear that from him again, but there was no way Doc loved him, not now. He didn’t want his hopes to be brought up only for it to be shot down again.

"You don't have to say anything now," Doc continued. "And I don't expect you to like me back, but I hope you will continue to let me support you when you need it and still be friends with me." He held out his hand, "If you'd let me, of course."

There was a hopeful look on his face, but there was also some fear. 

Ren takes his hand, letting himself be pulled into a hug. 

"I hope this doesn't change things between us," Doc said softly. "You needed to know and I wasn't being fair to you."

Ren said nothing, hugging him back, and just enjoying the hug from Doc.

He stayed with him again that night. And like every other night, Doc holds him close, Ren laying his head on his chest. 

But when Doc is fast asleep, Ren is still awake, the thoughts of what happened fresh on his mind. 

Iskall had thought he and Doc were dating, and probably everyone else too, if they knew he stayed over at his place every night. Then Iskall says he could trust him when he did the exact thing he was afraid of? How _could_ Ren trust him, or anyone else for that matter, about what was truly in his mind, when Iskall, _Iskall_ , one of his closest friends, laughed at him. 

Doc and Xisuma were the only ones who hadn't laughed at him, and yet, everyone else he told did. 

And then there was the thing Doc told him. Ren couldn't help but feel guilty.

Ren had lost Doc in the other world when he wouldn't wake up. Then, they're in this new world and he thinks he has Doc back only for him to not remember him. Ren thought he'd never get to wake up next to Doc ever again or hug him closely ever again. But Ren gets to sleep next to him and wake up next to him everyday. And Doc is holding him at night like he had before. And then Doc tells him he loves him.

It's - mostly - everything that he's wanted to happen but Ren couldn't enjoy it. He felt too guilty that he was just holding Doc back with all the baggage he had. 

But despite it all, Ren hoped it wasn’t just a dream. 

-.-

Ren wakes up the next day to an empty bed. He doesn’t move, still reeling back from the previous day’s findings. He had some time to process what Doc told him but he still couldn’t really believe it. 

He didn’t know what to think or do about it. A while ago, he would have immediately told Doc that he loved him back, but now? He just wasn’t sure. 

Ren gets up, getting ready for the day and meeting Doc downstairs. 

“Good sleep?”

Ren’s thoughts go back to the night before. 

_“No! Please no, Doc!”_

_“Please don’t leave me, please wake up.”_

_“Doc didn't wake up this morning.”_

_“It’s going to be okay, right X?”_

_"Please wake up, I miss you."_

“Ren?”

Ren snaps out of his thoughts, realizing Doc was staring right at him. His voice falls short, all the emotions he felt back then rushing through him. The disbelief, the pain, how lonely he felt, all of it.

Tears welled up in his eyes. "Memories," he choked out. "Not good ones."

Doc motioned for him to sit next to him. "What happened?"

"It's when no one would wake up," Ren says, referring back to when he had told him before. "It still hurts."

"It's okay for it to hurt," Doc places his arm around him, holding him close. "Things that suck still keep sucking."

“Please never say it like that again, Doc," he said with a sniff. 

"Doesn't make it wrong."

-.-

Ren didn't know who he could go to. Before, he would not hesitate to go to Iskall, but now, he's not so sure. He wanders, not knowing who to go to, feeling lost.

He doesn't know how but he ends up in front of a tree house. He doesn't recognize it at first but finds Etho there.

"Ren? Hey, man!" he greeted with a smile. "Been awhile since we've seen each other, Pamela been good?"

"Uh yeah," Ren finds himself at a loss for words. 

"Something wrong?" 

Etho knew Doc. Doc had said it himself, they were close. While he didn’t know Etho himself, Doc knew him so he must be trustworthy enough and know _something_ to help him out.

“I-” Ren hesitated, still a little unsure if he should tell him. “You and Doc are close, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Etho says. “He’s one of my closest friends, and I’ve known him for quite a long time. Did something happen?”

“Doc, he-” Ren stops. Was Doc going to be upset that he told Etho about how he felt? And if he _did_ tell him, Etho’s going to want to know why Ren was so against it, and would he judge him like everyone else had? “Nevermind, it’s stupid.” Ren decided against it now that he was able to think about it a little more.

“It can’t be stupid if it’s bothering you, Ren.”

Ren still looked reluctant to tell him. 

“If you’re worried if I’m going to tell anyone, I won’t,” Etho put his hand over his heart as a promise. “I wouldn’t betray Doc’s, or your, trust like that.”

“Doc told me he loved me,” Ren blurts out before he could stop himself.

Etho’s eyebrows rose, the look of shock on his face. It was clear that Doc hadn’t told him that. “Oh?” he says curiously, trying and failing to hide the smile on his face. “Honestly, I shouldn’t be so surprised, he spends a lot of time with you and talking about you,” he says the last part as an afterthought.

“And I don’t-” Ren didn’t know what to say. 

“Okay,” Etho says calmly. “So, do you like him too? Or…” he drew out the words, staring at him with a curious look. 

Ren says nothing at first. 

Etho’s face dropped. “You don’t, do you?” he sounded glum. “And you want to find a way to let him down gently.”

“What, no!”

“You want to let him down harshly?!” 

“No! That’s not what I meant!”

"Then what do you mean, Ren?"

"I just don't know if I should be in a relationship," Ren says, guilt filling him. 

"If you're not ready, then he'll understand," Etho tells him. "I just don't think it'd be fair, leading him on, you know?"

Ren nods. "I see what you mean."

"Tell him at your own pace, but don't lead him on." The pointed glare on Etho's face is enough to tell him the unsaid threat. 

"I won't."

-.-

Ren doesn't tell Doc immediately. And Doc doesn't pressure him for an answer either and keeps treating him like he always did.

Ren's thoughts go back to Etho's words. He didn't want to lead Doc on, but he wasn't ready to tell him. What if the other had expectations of him? What if he told Doc his feelings but he was never ready for it? 

"Hey Doc," Ren says softly, seeing if he was awake.

"Hmm?" he says, half-asleep.

Ren tried to think up a question he could ask him, must to hear him talk a little more. "Why did you hate Bdubs for so long before?" Bdubs had told him so he was curious what Doc would say.

"I wanted the entire house."

"Why?"

"Hn," Doc mumbles, sleep almost taking him. "I dunno, it was important to me."

Ren feels his breaths even out and he knows Doc had fallen asleep. 

He smiled softly to himself, pushing himself further into Doc's embrace. He hadn't been expecting anything but he was glad he asked that. ' _He remembers._ ' 

Doc may have not remembered their time together, but it was clear his subconscious still did.

-.-

The next night, Ren stays with Doc again, like he did every other night. 

Ren had his eyes closed, half way to sleep but still awake. 

He faintly registers Doc move a hand to the back of his head, gently brushing his thumb against him. Ren is wide awake when he feels a soft pressure on the top of his head, realizing it was Doc pressing his lips against his head.

"I love you, Ren," he whispers softly. "I don't care if you never return my feelings or you end up loving someone else-"

It was clear to Ren that Doc thought he had already fallen asleep.

"-but I'll be happy as long as you're happy, even if it's not with me. I just wish you'd reach out to me when you need help."

Ren listens to Doc's breaths as it evens out. He felt warmth in his chest hearing those words from him again. 

He opens his eyes and looks up at Doc's sleeping face. He smiles to himself, seeing his calm face, something he saw on a daily basis before, and something he did now. "I love you too, Doc, I never stopped loving you." He just wasn't the same person as he was before.

-.-

When Ren drops by his logging business, he sees a sign in front of his shop.

“Mumbo for Mayor,” he reads it outloud. 

“Oh, I’m glad you’re on board!”

Ren jumps at the sudden shout. He turns to see Grian standing behind him with a big grin. 

“There’s a mayoral campaign?”

“There is now!” Grian beamed. “So? Does Mumbo have your support?” 

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope!”

“Then consider me a supporter.”

“Great! That makes three people on the Mumbo for Mayor train.”

Ren stared at him curiously. “What made Mumbo want to be mayor? Where’d he even get the idea from?”

“Oh, the idea came from me, he doesn’t even know he’s being campaigned for mayor.”

Ren chuckled. “Of course, why did I think of anything different?”

“ _Exactly,_ ” Grian says with a nod. “You understand.”

-.-

“Can you believe it, Doc? I don’t even know what a mayor would _do._ ”

“Hmm.”

Ren looks up at Doc. He looked deep in thought. “Doc?”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

Ren stared at him with a flabbergasted look. “Wait, seriously?”

Doc grinned. “Imagine all the things I could do as mayor, Ren.”

He stared at him. “I’m drawing a blank here.”

“The GOAT would like it.”

Rne stared at him with a small smile and nodded, “Yep, of course.”

-.-

Ren sits back and watches as Doc works on a bit of redstone. He was expanding upon his castle in the sky that he had made for his villagers long ago. He had built a few other things but mainly focused on them. Sometimes, Ren sat around, watching him figure it out or listen as Doc tried to figure it out.

He liked that Doc didn’t mind him sticking around. Occasionally, Doc would have him come over and let him help out with some redstone or taught him how each component fit together and the fundamentals of everything.

None of it ever stuck to him but he just loved hearing Doc talk passionately about his work. 

“Do you get it?” Doc asks, still staring at the redstone.

Ren stared up at him with a fond smile as Doc talked about another component. 

“Ren?” Doc looks up to stare at him, any eyebrow raised as he wears a curious look on his face. 

Ren soon realizes that Doc was staring at him and had been calling his name. “Huh? Oh uh, yeah, yeah, I get it.”

Doc doesn’t look like he believes him but continues explaining everything.

-.-

“Oh, Ren! Is this your log shop?”

Ren freezes. 

‘ _No._ ’

“Hey,” the voice is now directly next to him. 

Ren feels his chest tight, recognizing that voice. It had been months since he’s heard it. He hesitates but looks up at the person standing next to him. In barely a whisper, he says, “Wels?”

“You remember me!” he said with a grin. “Makes things much easier on me then.”

“Of-of course I remember you!” he said, tearing up. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“No one else seemed to remember me,” Wels said with a pout. “It was pretty weird, honestly.”

“No one else remembered you?” Ren said softly. He didn’t know how Xisuma had made them all forget their memories from before but he would have thought he would have done _something_ so it was a little less weird. 

“Yeah, even Cub, who _brought_ me here didn’t remember me.”

“Wait, Cub brought you here?” Ren’s eyebrows furrowed out of confusion. 

“Yeah,” Wels explained. “I woke up, went about my day, and everyone was just gone. I thought everyone was just having a gathering after the whole “not waking up thing” that happened but-”

Ren started to cry. Wels remembered it too. 

“-no one, it was just Cub. Said he _time traveled,_ ” he said with a scoff. “Didn’t believe him at first, thought he was just messing with me again. But nope! He was telling the- Ren, you alright?” His face turned to one of concern. 

Ren sniffed, wiping the tears away. He nodded, “I’m fine. It’s just, you’re the second person to remember everything from before, no one else remembers anything,” Ren explained. “It’s as if none of it happened to them.”

Wels stared at him. “None of it?”

Ren shook his head. “They didn’t remember you, Python, Jessasin, or Biffa. No memories we made together, not even their relationships.”

“Oh,” Wels says softly. “Guess that’s why Cub was confused when he saw me, huh?” 

Ren nodded. He didn’t know what else to tell him. He wasn’t sure if he should tell him that Xisuma was the one behind it all or to not bring it up at all.

“So, Scar and Cub aren’t together anymore?” 

Ren shook his head, “Neither are Grian and Mumbo.”

Wels hesitated. “You and Doc?”

Ren bit his lip, eyes lowering to the ground.

“I hope you two are able to figure things out.”

“Thanks,” Ren says. “I’d say the same about you but I’ve tried, nothing works on them.”

Wels smiled at him, “I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless, Ren. But it’ll be alright.”

Ren looks up, staring at him with confusion. “You’re-” he hesitated. “Not upset? All of our friends don’t remember you.”

“It sucks, yeah, and it hurts that my friends don’t know me anymore, and I _wish_ that I could do something about it, but there’s no use moping,” Wels had a hopeful look on his face. “As a knight, I don’t allow myself to be hung up on stuff, I just use it to look forward and better my future.”

Ren stared at him with amazement. “I wish I could think more like you, Wels.”

“Maybe someday, Ren,” he paused. “Now, tell me about everything that has been going on?”

Ren nodded, a small smile on his face. “I’d be happy to,” he paused. “Oh and Wels?”

“Yeah?”

“Welcome back to Hermitcraft, I missed you.”

“Thanks, I missed you too.”

-.-

Ren, when he’s back at Doc’s that night, thinks over what Wels had told him that day. He had said that it was best to move on, and he knew that, but he wasn’t sure if he could. He couldn’t help but think about everything that had gone on back then. 

They all had such good times together, it was amazing. And then the way he and Doc fell in love, how they first got together, they’d always be precious memories to him.

The more Ren thought about it, the more he realized that Wels was right. They all made good memories together, it was time that he made some more. 

“Hey Doc?” he says, hoping he was still awake.

“Hmm?” 

“I think I’m going to go see Xisuma in the morning,” he says softly. “It’d help to talk to someone who understands everything.”

Doc, instead of feeling offended, says, “I’m proud of you for taking this step, Ren.” Doc rubbed his back, pressed his lips against his forehead. 

“Thanks,” he whispers. 

-.-

“You wanted to talk to me, Ren?”

Ren nodded. "I wanted to talk about-" he hesitated. "-everything, if that's alright with you."

"Of course it is," he says. "I'm glad you came to me, in fact." Xisuma paused. "First of all, I wanted to apologize, I didn't realize how much you went through, I just assumed the situations were the same, but- it wasn't right of me, I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Xisuma, I know you didn’t mean anything bad from it."

"Still, I should have been more thoughtful," Xisuma stepped to the side. "Let's take a seat first." 

Ren follows after him.

"So, let's start off in the other world, what happened after I fell asleep?"

"I waited at the fountain for you, like usual. But you never showed up,” Ren took a deep breath. "No one did. I was on my own for a long time," Ren clutched his pants, gritting his teeth as he thought back on everything that happened.

"How long was that?" 

Ren shook his head, "I don't know, I stopped counting after a week." He sticks around for a while, talking with Xisuma about things. The other doesn’t fully understand his emotions like Doc had but never makes him feel bad about it. He’s able to get a bit of a clearer view on things.

“Thanks Xisuma, this really helped.”

“Feel free to drop by anytime you need to talk, Ren.”

As Ren stands to leave, Xisuma places his hand on his arm. 

“Ren, I think it’d be better if you come to me to talk about things.”

Ren stares at him, “Why can’t I talk to Doc about things?”

“Doc’s a busy man,” Xisuma explained. “He’s supporting you, yes, but he also has a lot on his plate too with his mayoral campaign and everything else he has.”

Ren started to feel guilty. He _had_ been just holding him back, had he?

“You’re not being a bother to him, Ren.”

“You just said-”

“That’s not what I meant,” Xisuma explains. “I meant that he might not be able to have enough time to properly focus on you, and he doesn’t _fully_ understand everything, you know?”

“So I can’t talk to him about it anymore?”

“I’m not saying you _can’t,_ ” Xisuma says. “I’m just saying that it’s better if you talk to _me_ about it, especially if you and Doc plan on making it official anytime soon.”

Ren grows quiet.

Xisuma nodded. “If it’s any consolation, you two were great together,” Ren purses his lips together, listening to what Xisuma says. “And I can clearly see that he still loves you.”

“I know.”

-.-

“How are you feeling?”

Doc asks that night.

“Better,” Ren says. “Talking helped. Xisuma gave me his side on things, and just _having_ people who remembers what happened helps make me not feel like I’m going crazy.”

“People?”

“Wels is back,” Ren says softly. “It was weird seeing him again.”

“Oh right, the knight,” Doc says. “Were you two close? Was Wels and I close?”

“We didn’t talk much, but he was still a friend.”

“I see.” Doc adjusts his arms’ positionings and moves them so he’s hugging Ren more comfortably. 

“Mhmm,” Ren closes his eyes, resting his head on Doc’s chest. 

Doc chuckles. “Night Ren.”

-.-

_Ren was falling._

_But he wasn’t scared._

_He had his elytra on._

_He looks around, taking in everything from a different view._

_“Beautiful, isn’t it?”_

_Ren looks up and sees himself. The other him had a red shirt on, a strap going across from his shoulder and to his hip, and leather gloves. He looked like he had before in the other world._

_He doesn’t get the chance to say anything before the other him fades before him._

_Ren looks back and finds himself standing instead of falling like he had been just mere seconds ago._

_“And this is our room, Ren, I hope it’s to your standards.”_

_Ren stands next to Doc, who proudly presented a fully furnished room in his castle in the sky._

_“It’s amazing, Doc!”_

-.-

Ren finds himself at Wels’ house. It was near Beef and Keralis’s place, a place he didn’t really visit all too often. 

“Ren! Are you a sight for sore eyes,” Wels says with a smile.

While the other was quick to move and look toward the future, it was still nice to catch up and think about memories together. Along with keeping up on how the other was doing. 

It was nice having friends again.

-.-

“You haven’t had a nightmare in a while and you’ve been talking more to the other hermits, it sounds like you’ve been doing a lot better, Ren! I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks X,” he says with a smile. 

-.-

Ren goes to see Iskall again. 

Or rather, stumbles across him at the shopping district.

“Ren, my dude! I’m sorry if I said something wrong before, but I didn’t mean-”

“Iskall, it’s fine,” Ren stops him before he broke down into tears. “I got help, I’ve been feeling better.”

Iskall smiles. “That’s good to hear, I’m glad you’re getting some help.”

“So! How are things with you?”

“With me?”

“Yeah! What have you been up to?”

“You mean _Iskallman,_ ” Iskall said with a grin. “I’ve been helping out Stress with her mayoral campaign.”

“Oh, she’s in the race too?”

“Yeah, a total of six so far! Or, well, five, I’m not really sure if Joe counts,” he says. “So, does Stress have your vote or do I have to try harder?”

“Keep trying, Doc has my vote right now.”

“Wait! I thought Mumbo had your vote!” 

“Grian!” Iskall exclaims. “Trying to steal away voters, I see.”

Grian lands next to them, “Ren!” he whined. “You said you were going to vote for Mumbo!”

“That was before Doc said he was going to run!”

“Hmph,” Grian crossed his arms. “Makes sense you’d want to vote for your boyfriend, I’d vote for mine too.”

“You’re his campaign manager, I’d be shocked if you didn’t,” Iskall adds.

Ren ignores Grian’s comment about Doc being his boyfriend, and says, “Your boyfriend?”

“You didn’t hear?” Iskall says. “They’re-”

“I asked Mumbo out, and he said yes!” There was a big smile on Grian’s face.

“Congrats Grian,” Ren’s mind briefly wanders to the other world. 

“I hear Cub and Scar are going out too,” Iskall says.

“Really?” Grian exclaims. “He didn’t tell me! And I’m his neighbor!” 

“I’m also his neighbor!” Iskall says.

Ren’s eyebrows were raised, shock on his face. “It’s just me and Doc then,” he mutters under his breath. The hermits here acted completely different than in the last world, but they were also very similar. 

“What about you and Doc?”

Ren snaps out of his thoughts and sees both Iskall and Grian staring at him. 

“What! Oh nothing.”

“Sure didn’t sound like nothing.”

“It’s nothing,” Ren denies. “I uh, I have somewhere to be.” And he had _someone_ to see.

-.-

Ren finds Doc in the only one of two places he’d be at, in his castle in the sky. 

He lands on the landing platform at the top level. He heads inside, wanting to find him. “Doc?” he calls out. 

Ren finds Doc in one of the lower levels of his castle. “Doc,” he called out again.

“Ren,” Doc stands, looking over at him. “Hey.” 

His mind goes back to the other world. Ren had been the one to ask Doc out but he felt so much more nervous than he did before. Before, he and Doc had been flirting and skirting around each other for a long time. It first started off as a joke, telling each other cheesy pick up lines, back before they began the stock exchange, and as they worked on it and grew closer, the more and more the flirting became serious. 

_“If I were to ask you out, would your answer be the same as this one?”_

_Doc stares back at him with a smirk. “As long as I can make you howl after.”_

_“Tonight at 7. Meet me in front of the stock exchange.”_

_“Okay, but when are we going to dinner?”_

_Ren stares back at him. “You’re very forward.”_

_“I know what I want.”_

_“And what’s that?”_

_“You.” Doc paused. “Ren, are we really doing this?”_

_“Hell yeah we are.”_

_Doc grinned. “Good.”_

It now seemed so unlike him. But here they were again, standing in front of each other once again like that day. 

“Doc,” he says softly, staring into his eyes, taking a few steps toward him.

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been there for me when I needed it, and I want to thank you for it,” Ren starts. 

Doc looks right at him, unsure where this was going but still looked grateful. 

“But Doc, I want to be there for you as you were for me, for as long as you’ll have me, I love you.”

Doc smiles. Ren didn’t need to say more for Doc to get what he meant. 

Ren steps forward as Doc wraps his arms around him, pulling him into a hug. Ren leans up, pressing his lips against his. He clasps his hands onto the back of Doc’s coat, tilting his head. Doc slides his hands to the back of Ren’s neck and his lower back, deepening the kiss.

After they part, Ren buries his head in his chest, tightening his arms around him. “I’m never letting you go again.”

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story! This is my first hermitcraft and rendoc fic I made.


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